how to keep yourself from losing all your friends.

So last night i am sitting at home with the boy eating dinner. Me with my spinach salad, and him with his entire pizza. Imagine first of all, for effect, how i am feeling about eating a spinach salad while he is devouring all of italy next to me. Then out of pure boy stupidity-i am certain that 95% of men do not think before they open there mouths-he says

"no matter what i do, i just cant put on any weight! it is terrible"

ok lets just think about it for one second.....almost half of this nation is overweight, and most of the other half works pretty hard to keep from getting overweight.....its about time people realized that phrases like this are not going to win you any friends...at all...point blank.

Now he is a man and, as i previously noted, stupid about what comes out of his mouth so i forgive him...but you have all been around the WOMEN who say the same thing! COME ON!!! we are reminded every day when you talk about how much you hate the gym and how you never go and how you are so glad that abercrombie now carries the 00 size cuz frankly, one zero isnt enough, you have to have two zeros to describe you (which doesnt make any sense at all, it is IMPOSSIBLE to have a nothing as a measurement.....and zero squared still equals zero). but i swear to you when you open your mouth between bites of your extremely fattening whateverthehell you are eating to say how impossible it is to gain weight.....seventy five percent of the room wants to kill you. mainly because we havent eaten that way since we were ten....and if we even looked at a donut longingly again...we would have to go out and buy new jeans the next day.

so naturally skinny girls, honestly....we love to look at you, you look great and way to go lucking out on the gene pool there, but no one really wants to know about how you hate that you sometimes shop in the kids department.