Something upbeat (that's a surprise!)

My posts tend to be so sad or unhappy, which is not how i view my life. I guess i think a lot about things like this and how we ought to be out there trying to change them. So today, as a relief to the few that read this....I am going to write an upbeat blog!

I had a GREAT birthday and thanksgiving. My niece is such a doll....and my nephew is hilarious as well. I spent my weekend playing with them mostly. I also got a sick deal on a soft shell mt hardware coat and a kelty backpack! for those of you outdoorsy girls, head to outdoor outlet in San Jorge (for those of you who dont know, that is St. George in spanish)...you cannot beat those prices! I always get excited about new packs, in fact whenever I see those baby packs it makes me want to have a kid so i can justify purchasing one! haha, that is pretty sad and a little weird I know, but those kelty baby packs are SO cool.

My birthday was perfect. there really wasn't much that i wanted, so mike got me a day at the spa at snowbird (i have NEVER had a spa day but i am huge sucker for massages so i am stoked!). He also planned a surprise party for me later that night. The next day as a gift to myself I went down to the climbing gym and signed up for a membership (well OK, i actually just debated signing up for a membership because it is a year commitment.....but after my awesome climb i decided to just muscle down and pay the money.....which i will do when i return to the climbing gym).

this weekend is my first time with the rape crisis line....I am SO nervous. Although last night while i was watching "the waitress" (GREAT FILM!!!) with Mike he told me of his sister's friend who had just been raped....and i totally snapped into action and gave him a bunch of advice for his sister and phone numbers etc....Something inside me knew exactly what to do. So i am feeling a bit more prepared than i was before...we will see.

Next bit of news, i got a new job which i start on monday!! it is a job with a pediatric research network mainly doing clinical research. I am pretty excited about it. It will be hard to leave my old job and try something completely different...but it will be great for med school apps and it is about time for a change.

And finally, Mike and I are heading to sunny mexico in a week!! We take off in LA and head down to Aculpulco. We have three more stops along the coast. I am so excited I can't stand it. I have never been to mexico or on a cruise so it will be pretty sweet. Hopefully I will take some real photos and maybe you will get a post with something interesting! hope everyone else's holidays are as lovely as mine have been!

Erasing Stigmas

Just this past week I have started my training to be a rape recovery center volunteer. It is really interesting when i tell people this; I get many mixed reactions. A lot of people become extremely uncomfortable about the subject and would rather I not elaborate on the things they are teaching me in my forty hour training. Now before i go any further, let me just add this is not an X rated post, it will be PG at best. I find reactions to rape amusing because one of the number one issues at the center is the number of unreported and untreated cases. These are mainly due to the fact that the VICTIM feels ashamed.....the VICTIM!!! Because of the way we tiptoe around the topic or ask questions like: Why weren't you with anyone? Why didn't you fight? Why did you go there? Victims almost always feel like this rape (a crime that NO ONE has the right to commit) was their fault. Society paints this picture like they could have avoided being raped if they really wanted to.

This led me to another thought: The way we blame victims, and how it keeps people from getting the help they really need. About two years ago I had a pretty bad break up. For a few days i would just sit on my couch and watch tv. This is a pretty normal reaction I think, but my few days turned into weeks...and then a month. I had long stopped thinking about the guy, yet I couldn't stop crying-the worst part was, I didn't even know why I was crying. I would wake up around seven, go for a run, lie on my couch and cry until work (which started at 4p.m.) Now those of you who know me, know just how weird this was for me. I am never sad! I always have a good outlook on life. I have so much to be thankful for...more than SO many other people. I tried and tried to get off that couch, and finally a good friend got me into a clinic. They quickly diagnosed me with depression.

It is funny how negative that word is. It immediately makes people think of unstableness, suicide, of how the person ought to "just get over it". Whats even more amazing is that people will often skirt around it too and suggest things like "maybe you should get a hobby" "pray more" "you have nothing to be sad about" instead of things like "do you need help?" "do you need to talk about how you feel?" "do you think you may have depression?".......the funny thing about it is, most patients know they have depression....most of them start crying the minute the doctor says it, chances are however, they never wanted to admit it out loud. I was one of those people, I was a diabetic who was going to be a doc and ran marathons and played lacrosse and I was strong enough to get past this.....but i was wrong, I wasn't strong enough, my body had created this chemical imbalance....no strength would change it.

Along with rape, depression is something we as a society blame on the victim. We think they are being irrational and that it is a pretend ailment....hell, I even thought it was a pretend ailment until i physically could not stop my sorrow. I hope that one day victims of things like rape and depression will no longer feel the shame of society, and society will erase the stigmas that keep people from getting help. I can safely say that I wont keep my mouth shut until this happens.

Halloween

Let me tell you all (the few and far between readers i have out there) what I did for halloween! i holed up in my tiny apartment and studied! my boyfriend worked all night....we keep telling ourselves it will pay off eventually, although it is hard to see where the pay off is at this time...oh well, i could always try and get a sugah daddy if i ever get too depressed about being a poor student dating an even poorer grad student. So, in order to save my relationship I have taken up living vicariously through the rest of you and your blogs.

So now that halloween is come and gone, it is on to my favorite holiday....THANKSGIVING! my birthday sometimes falls on thanksgiving and frankly, i don't know what could be better than running in st. george weather, eating an awesome meal, opening presents and taking a nap....i am stoked! My favorite part of thanksgiving is the fact that regardless of my multiple allergies (i am celiac: i.e. no wheat, barley,rye, and all things good) my mom cooks me the best pumpkin pie ever!

Finally, so as not to dismiss halloween altogether...here is my neice all decked out.....She is a doll, and a hoot. I get to hang with her at thanksgiving as well, which is a definite bonus