Saturday, September 15, 2012

hello stranger

oh hi there...its been a while bloggy blog friend.  I am not sure a single sole even visits you bad!

but today, i just felt like venting....and expressing, and typedity typing.
so here goes.  Remember when we all learned about stream of consciousness?

deep breath........

What is it about pinterest?...every post is either about gaining a six pack or baking dessert, it makes no SENSE!  you are working against yourself!!!!!  On top of that, who has time to bake all that fucking dessert and do all of that exercise?!?  NO ONE!

speaking of dessert, i recently lost 20 lbs..yep, feeling pretty good.  and i dont care who reads this and thinks "that bitch!" but honestly- how the hell am i supposed to afford all new clothes? You know how you save clothes for years thinking you will fit into them one day and then OPera tells you to throw them out because they are bad for your 'inner self'....yeah thanks Opera, hope you are sending me a check for my new clothes.  I have also noticed that men, men who claim not to care about weight....TOTALLY care about weight.  they do, its a lie. 

My dog has epilepsy.  full blown seizure epilepsy.  I am diabetic, celiac with necrobiosis lipoidica and i adopt the dog with EPILEPSY.  This is a joke right?  God, I hope you find the same kind of humor in my life as i do...i guess i will always be laughing at myself.  I am currently applying to PA school and i honestly feel as if my personal statement should read something along the lines of "SWF w/epileptic DOG- hoping to become PA. Likes LW on B. Works in PEDS with SCIDS.  loves ETOH of the VINO variety.  Has multiple disorders.

I went on an online date once where the man asked me to help him break up a marriage of a woman he was in love with.  He also gifted me with a taser at the end of the date.  I am glad i now have a taser.

for those who want a real update:
i went to peru
did the inca trail
went to india
learning spanish
got my masters
have a dog now-in case you didnt figure that one out (its ok, slow people are people too)
got some new niecephews
got together with somebodies
broke up with  somebodies
accepted my "utah old maid status" aka: anyone over 25 and single
ran a bunch
slept a bunch
now own a taser

thats all for now.  hope you enjoyed the slew of thought.  all you readers better be checking on your ooey gooey better than sex cupcakes while planking your abs to death.